From primary to secondary: dealing with bullying

Worrying about bullying can spoil the move to secondary school for many children. These tips, in association with the charity Beatbullying* will help

The transition from primary to secondary school is one of the most stressful times for children for a number of reasons. These include:

• Losing close friends they made in primary school
• Adapting to a new, bigger school with older students
• Making new friends
• Establishing themselves in the school
• Getting used to timetables and different ways of working and learning

They’re expected to settle in to their new environment and become more independent in a short space of time, not to mention adjust to physical and emotional changes as they enter their teenage years. All these things can adversely affect their self confidence and the way they interact with others.

Children having difficulties settling in can be vulnerable to bullying, precisely because they are in a new environment where they feel unconfident and unfamiliar. Another student might pick up on this uneasiness and use it to target and bully them.

Every child has the right to feel safe and happy and to enjoy school. Unfortunately, bullying in schools and cyberspace has become a growing feature in young people’s lives. It influences the way they relate to others and how they identify themselves as individuals in society.

Many young people find it easier to use the internet to seek help for bullying. In 2009, Beatbullying launched CyberMentors – an online peer mentoring service for young people being bullied or with a problem affecting their wellbeing. Young people are trained as CyberMentors to be able to give support to their peers both online and offline, while qualified counsellors are available to offer further support or intervention as necessary. If your child is finding it difficult to open up to you about their worries about bullying, encourage them to visit the Cybermentors website.

CyberMentors is hugely positive for those who take part. It helps to reduce incidents of bullying in schools and communities where it operates. Children learn to understand the problem, recognize and define what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, realise the impact and consequences of bullying, and build their confidence to challenge bullying behaviour. Pupils are also taught about the importance of respect, tolerance and empathy. Having a support mechanism like Cybermentors in school helps all students understand who they can turn to for help, and that support is there for those who need it.

To prepare children for the challenges they’ll face as they make the move from primary to secondary school, increasing their self confidence is vital. Here’s what parents can do to help:

• Listen. Make it clear to your child that they can always talk to you and you won’t judge or react negatively. This creates a safe environment where your child feels able to talk about what is going on, good and bad.
• Support. Reassure your child of their abilities and qualities to boost their self-esteem.
• Encourage. Suggest they join extracurricular activities and groups that interest them, so they can socialise with others who might be in a similar situation.
• Interest. Make sure you show an interest in what’s going on in your child’s life – without prying.
• Reassure. Remind your child regularly that they have your support, and that lots of their friends are uncomfortable during this transition period too.
• Talk – to your child’s school. Start talking to your child’s teacher so you can work together to spot changes in attitude, behaviour and personality. The school may be able to do other things such as providing a ‘secret friend’ to keep an eye on your child; or provide a safe place in school where your child can go if they feel afraid.

*Beatbullying is doing all it can to raise awareness of the effects and consequences of bullying, and shape young people’s attitudes. The charity’s policy and campaigning arm seeks to influence policy, while the programmes it delivers with young people in schools and communities ensure that children and young people are aware of the risks and the harmful effects of bullying. Recent research showed that as many as 44% of suicides committed by young people in the UK could be a result of bullying, while bullying is acknowledged to be linked to truancy, poor educational attainment, and mental health problems.

For more information click here.