Five year old hits back at bullies
Posted in Parents
Thursday 26 November 2009
In Q&As
Question
My five year old son is being bullied at school by two boys in his class; they swear at him, kick him and pull him around. He has tried ignoring them, telling the teacher/staff, telling them he doesn’t want to play with them and walking away. I spoke to the teacher a couple of weeks ago and it has got worse and yesterday my son resorted to hitting them back. Unfortunately the teachers saw him hit one of the boys who is bullying him and not the bully hit him first. I am getting increasingly worried about how this will affect my son’s opinion of school and he tells me he doesn’t want to go to school anymore and doesn’t want to go out at playtime which is when the majority of the problem is happening. This is really upsetting me and I don’t know what to do next. Can you give me some advice?
Answer
I can appreciate why this is upsetting you so much. It is only natural that you want to be assured that your son is happy and safe when you leave him at school each day. It certainly sounds as though you have tried to advise him about the steps to take when he is bullied. However, it doesn’t seem to be making much difference and neither does the fact that you have spoken to the teacher, all of which must be terribly frustrating and worrying for you. No wonder you are unsure about what to do now.
We have a website about bullying which you may find useful. This gives a list of the key steps to follow when trying to deal with this problem. It also has links to other organisations such as Kidscape, who offer various tips and resources, not only to parents, but also to victims of bullying.
In the meantime, it is important that your son feels able to tell you how he is feeling. Perhaps you can try to reassure him that you are doing all you possibly can to sort things out for him. Try to help him to focus on his good qualities and give him plenty of hugs, praise and encouragement, which may help him to feel good about himself. Also, it may help to let him know that you understand how angry and frustrated he may feel about being treated unkindly by the other children. Nevertheless, it is important to try and make him understand that retaliation may only cause him to get into trouble, however unfair that may seem.
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