Got A Teenager - Website for parents of teenagers Be Someone to Tell - Website for parents concerned about bullying Parentline Plus for Professionals

Five year old hits back at bullies

Posted in Parents

Thursday 26 November 2009

In Q&As

Question

My five year old son is being bullied at school by two boys in his class; they swear at him, kick him and pull him around. He has tried ignoring them, telling the teacher/staff, telling them he doesn’t want to play with them and walking away. I spoke to the teacher a couple of weeks ago and it has got worse and yesterday my son resorted to hitting them back. Unfortunately the teachers saw him hit one of the boys who is bullying him and not the bully hit him first. I am getting increasingly worried about how this will affect my son’s opinion of school and he tells me he doesn’t want to go to school anymore and doesn’t want to go out at playtime which is when the majority of the problem is happening. This is really upsetting me and I don’t know what to do next. Can you give me some advice?

Answer

I can appreciate why this is upsetting you so much. It is only natural that you want to be assured that your son is happy and safe when you leave him at school each day. It certainly sounds as though you have tried to advise him about the steps to take when he is bullied. However, it doesn’t seem to be making much difference and neither does the fact that you have spoken to the teacher, all of which must be terribly frustrating and worrying for you. No wonder you are unsure about what to do now.

We have a website about bullying which you may find useful. This gives a list of the key steps to follow when trying to deal with this problem. It also has links to other organisations such as Kidscape, who offer various tips and resources, not only to parents, but also to victims of bullying.

In the meantime, it is important that your son feels able to tell you how he is feeling. Perhaps you can try to reassure him that you are doing all you possibly can to sort things out for him. Try to help him to focus on his good qualities and give him plenty of hugs, praise and encouragement, which may help him to feel good about himself. Also, it may help to let him know that you understand how angry and frustrated he may feel about being treated unkindly by the other children. Nevertheless, it is important to try and make him understand that retaliation may only cause him to get into trouble, however unfair that may seem.

Share with others

Share and bookmark this item

  • Bookmark with Delicious
  • Bookmark with Digg
  • Bookmark with Furl
  • Bookmark with Google
  • Bookmark with StumbleUpon
  • Bookmark with Technorati

Did you find this item useful?


You need to register or login to rate this item.
Not useful at all Extremely useful
This item has not yet been rated

Comments

  1. Wednesday 3rd March 2010
    I think you should go straight back into see the head teacher, not the teacher and explain, as you have above. Five is a young age to be bullied. a similar thing happned to my girl when she was five. I went to the head after several visits to her teacher, who was alot more interested and was glad i had made him aware, as the teacher had not ever mentioned any signs of bullying when asked in routine meetings! Good luck
  2. Monday 29th March 2010
    From now on you should put everything in writing to the school.Write a letter giving a timeline of the events,clarifying what you have asked the school to do and what has actually been done.
    Ask for an appointment with the head teacher and before this happens ask to be sent a copy of the schools behaviourpolicy and ask how they have followed their policy whendealing with the bullying. Do not be fobbed off.It is a statutory requirement that they have one of these and as a parent you are entitled to see it.
    When you ask for the meeting ask for it to be minuted and for you to receive copies.
    If anything in the meeting is unsatisfactory and the school will not address the issue then send a further letter asking to meet with the board of governors to address the issue. I think you'll find once you start formalising things they will start to take things more seriously!
    You can also contact your local authority asking if there is an anti bullying co-ordinator who can help you with strategies for your son.
    Iknow all this because my son was bullied through most of year 2 and the school didn't take me seriously until I made it official.Luckily I work in the education department for a LA so I had lots of people offering advice.Good Luck.
    Ask fo

Articles

Articles RSS

Articles (latest)

Articles (must read)

Blogs

Blogs RSS

latest blogs

Member of the Anti-Bullying Alliance